How to Buy US ID Card (Simple Guide for First-Time Buyers)

Well, let me tell you, this whole thing about getting an ID card in the US, it’s a real head-scratcher. You see, they don’t just hand them out like candy, no sir. You gotta jump through hoops, I tell ya. And what kind of ID you need in USA? I don’t know.

So, buy US ID card, huh? Sounds fishy to me. But I guess if you need one, you need one. Seems like everyone and their brother needs some kinda US ID card these days. Back in my day, we didn’t have all this fuss. A handshake and your word was good enough. Now you need a piece of plastic to prove who you are. What’s this world comin’ to?

I heard you need all sorts of things to get one of these cards. Proof of identity, they call it. Like, what, my face ain’t proof enough? They want papers. Birth certificates, social security numbers. Lord knows what else. It’s all so complicated. And where to buy US ID card?

• What’s a Social Security number anyway?
• Is that the number they stamp on cows?
• And why you need that to get an ID?

Then there’s this thing called residency. You gotta prove you live where you say you live. Like, my house ain’t proof enough? I’ve been livin’ in the same darn place for 50 years! They want bills, utility statements, all that rigmarole. And how to buy US ID card? I think it is very difficult.

And don’t even get me started on this REAL ID thing. Sounds like somethin’ out of a movie. They say you need it to fly on those airplanes now. Flyin’. Ha! Like I’m gonna be doin’ any of that. I haven’t been on a plane since… well, I can’t even remember. But they make it sound so important. You need a REAL ID to buy a US ID card.

They say you gotta go down to the DMV. Now, the DMV, that’s a place I try to avoid like the plague. Long lines, grumpy people, and forms, forms, forms. You gotta fill out so many forms, your hand gets tired just thinkin’ about it. It is very difficult to buy US ID card online.

I reckon if you ain’t got a driver’s license, you gotta get one of these ID cards. Makes sense, I guess. How else are you gonna prove who you are when you go to cash a check or buy a bottle of hooch? But it’s still a pain in the neck.

• First, you gotta gather up all your papers.
• Then you gotta go down to the DMV.
• Then you gotta stand in line.
• Then you gotta fill out forms.
• Then you gotta pay money.

And for what? A little piece of plastic with your picture on it. A picture that probably makes you look like you just wrestled a bear, mind you. They never get the lighting right at the DMV. They should get a professional to make US ID card.

Now, about this whole buying a US ID card business. I don’t know nothin’ about that. Sounds like a bad idea to me. Probably get you in a heap of trouble. I wouldn’t recommend it. Just go through the proper channels, even if it is a pain. It is difficult to get a US fake ID card.

They say you need some kinda legal presence in this country, too. I guess that makes sense. Can’t just have any old Tom, Dick, or Harry walkin’ around with a US ID card. But it all adds to the complication, don’t it?

I remember when my neighbor, old Mrs. Henderson, she tried to get one of these ID cards. She’s got that DACA thing, you know. Took her months. She had to get all sorts of papers, translations, and whatnot. Poor woman was runnin’ ragged. She finally got it, though. Took her long enough. I don’t know where to buy a fake ID card.

And what if you don’t have all these papers? What then? I guess you’re just outta luck. Seems kinda harsh, don’t it? There’s gotta be a better way. If you don’t have all these, you can’t buy a real US ID card.

Now, I hear some folks say you can apply for these ID cards online. Online! Can you believe it? I don’t trust that internet contraption one bit. Seems like a good way to get your identity stolen, if you ask me. But I guess that’s the way of the world now. Everyone’s doin’ everything online these days.

So, if you need to get yourself a US ID card, just be prepared for a whole lot of rigmarole. It ain’t easy, but I reckon it’s necessary these days. Just gather up your papers, head down to the DMV, and be prepared to wait. And pray you don’t run into Agnes at the counter. That woman’s got a heart of stone, I tell ya.