Listen up, y’all. You wanna know about gettin’ a Montenegro ID card? Well, I’m gonna tell ya what I know, even though I ain’t never been there myself. But I heard things, you know? People talk.
So, first off, seems like there’s this thing called a “Lična karta.” Sounds fancy, right? But it’s just their ID card, like what we got driver’s licenses for, I guess. It’s their main ID, with a picture and all. You probably need it for doin’ stuff over there, like gettin’ a phone or somethin’.
Now, I hear tell you can get these SIM cards at the airport, real easy-like. Podgorica, Tivat, somethin’ like that. They got these phone places right there, and you can get a card with a bunch of data. Heck, they got one with a whole terabyte! That’s a lot, even I know that. And it works in other places nearby too, like Bosnia and… uh… some other countries around there. They call it “roaming” or somethin’. Sounds like when my chickens wander off into the neighbor’s yard, but I guess it’s different for phones.

- 7 days: 500GB of data and 100 minutes, 10 euros.
- 15 days: also 500GB of data and 100 minutes, but 15 euros.
- 30 days: Now, this is the big one, 1TB of data and 100 minutes, for 20 euros.
But you ain’t here about phones, are ya? You wanna know about gettin’ that ID card. Well, I seen some things online, though I don’t rightly trust all that internet stuff. Too much hocus pocus for me. But I did see they talk about buyin’ ’em online. Says “best price, fast delivery.” I don’t know about that, sounds kinda fishy to me. Like them fellers sellin’ snake oil back in the day. But, I guess if you’re desperate, you might try it. Just be careful, okay?
I also heard tell of some places that’ll ship stuff to them cities over there. Podgorica, Pljevlja, Ulcinj, Budva… sounds like a bunch of gibberish to me, but I guess them’s the places. Maybe you can order somethin’ and they’ll send it, but I ain’t sure if that works for ID cards. Seems like somethin’ you’d have to get in person, but what do I know? I’m just an old woman.
Now, here’s the thing that worries me. I seen some talk about “fake ID cards.” Stay away from that mess, y’all. Nothin’ good ever comes from tryin’ to be somethin’ you ain’t. It’s like tryin’ to pass off a store-bought pie as your own at the county fair. Folks ain’t stupid, they’ll figure it out. And then you’ll be in a heap of trouble.
So, if you really need a Montenegro ID card, I reckon you gotta do it the right way. Go over there, talk to the folks in charge, and get yourself a real one. Don’t go lookin’ for shortcuts or tryin’ to trick nobody. It ain’t worth it, trust me. I seen enough in my life to know that cheatin’ and lyin’ only gets you heartache in the end.
And remember what I said about them phone cards. If you do go over there, you might need one to call home. Just make sure you get a good deal, and don’t let them city slickers try to rip you off. They see a country bumpkin comin’ and they think they can take advantage, but you gotta be smart about it. Know what you want, and don’t pay more than you have to.
Anyways, that’s all I got to say about it. Montenegro ID card, huh? Sounds like a whole lot of fuss to me. But you do what you gotta do, I guess. Just be careful out there, and don’t go doin’ nothin’ stupid. And if you do get yourself one of them cards, send me a postcard, would ya? I’d like to see what that place looks like.