Alright, so you wanna get yourself one of them Swiss driving thingamajigs, huh? A license, they call it. Well, listen up, ’cause I’m gonna tell ya how it’s done. Don’t you worry none, I’ll make it simple as pie, even if you ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.
First things first, you gotta understand this ain’t no walk in the park. They got rules and steps, just like makin’ a good stew. You can’t just throw everything in the pot at once and expect it to taste good, ya know? Gotta do it right, step by step.
So, they say there’s, like, six things you gotta do. Six! Can you believe it? Sounds like a whole lotta fuss to me, but that’s what they tell ya. Let’s see if I can remember ’em all.

- First, you gotta get yourself an application. That’s the paper stuff, you know? Fill it out, don’t scribble like a chicken scratchin’ in the dirt. They like it neat, I hear. Make sure you write your name right, and all that jazz. Don’t want no mix-ups, nobody wants to be driving a car under some one else’s name ,that will be big trouble for sure!
- Then, they gotta check your eyes. Yep, gotta make sure you can see where you’re goin’. Wouldn’t want ya drivin’ into a ditch now, would we? If you wear them spectacles, bring ’em along. And If you don’t see so well, then you better get yourself some eye glasses so you can see what’s in front of ya. Or else you won’t be driving no car at all.
- Next up, it’s the learnin’ part. They got this here theory test. Sounds fancy, but it’s just questions about drivin’. Like, what does a red light mean? Stuff like that. Gotta study up a bit, I reckon. Maybe get one of them books they got, read it a few times. Or get someone smart to explain it to ya.
- After you pass that theory thing, you get to actually drive! But not so fast! You gotta take lessons with a real instructor, someone who knows what they’re doin’. They’ll show ya how to steer, how to park, all that important stuff. Don’t be a know-it-all, listen to what they say. They ain’t tryin’ to trick ya, they just want ya to be safe. Driving aint no joke it’s dangerous if you don’t know what you are doing so you better listen up.
- Then comes the big test, the driving test. This is where you gotta show ’em what you learned. Drive around, follow the rules, don’t hit nothin’. Easy peasy, right? Well, maybe not so easy for some folks, but you just gotta stay calm and do your best. If you fail, you just gotta do it all over again, that’s just how it works around here.
- And finally, if you pass that test, you get your license! Hooray! You’re officially a driver. You can go anywhere you want, well, almost anywhere. Just remember to follow the rules, be careful, and don’t go drivin’ like a maniac. Keep you hands on the wheel and your eyes on the road and nothing bad will happen, they tell me it’s those darn cell phone that gets people into trouble, so you put those things away!
Now, they got different kinds of licenses, too. Like for cars, trucks, big ol’ buses, even them motorbikes. You gotta figure out which one you need. Most folks just want the car one, that’s the “B” they call it. But if you wanna drive a big rig, you gotta get a different one. And if you plan on driving one of those big buses, then you have to get another one too, so there is one for every kind of car if you ask me.
And they say you can do some of this stuff online now. Order a Swiss driving license online, they say. Sounds kinda fishy to me, but I guess that’s how they do things these days. Just be careful, ya hear? Don’t go givin’ your money to no crooks. Make sure it’s a real website, a real company. You don’t want to get scammed. But if it saves ya a trip to town, maybe it’s worth lookin’ into. Just be smart about it, that’s all I’m sayin’.
So, there ya have it. That’s how you get yourself a Swiss driving license. It ain’t rocket science, but it ain’t a walk in the park neither. Just follow the steps, pay attention, and you’ll be cruisin’ down the road in no time. And you can go to the store and get whatever you like and you don’t have to bother no one to get it for ya, that’s the best thing about it I think.
And remember, be safe out there. There’s a lot of crazy drivers on the road, so keep your eyes peeled and your wits about ya. And for goodness sake, don’t drink and drive. That’s just plain stupid. Now go on, get yourself that license and enjoy the open road. But do it safe, that’s all I’m asking!