Want to Buy Croatian Passport? Heres Your Easy Guide

Listen up, y’all, wanna get yourself a Croatian passport? It ain’t as easy as pickin’ apples, lemme tell ya. But if you’re set on it, I’ll tell ya what I know, best as I can figure.

First off, you gotta go to the police station in Croatia, that’s what they say. Don’t matter if you live there or not, but you gotta show your face. Can’t send your cousin or nothin’, gotta be you. And if you got young’uns, well, you gotta drag them along too, or do it for ’em if they’re still wet behind the ears.

Now, they say you gotta do it in person. That means you gotta put on your good shoes and actually go there. No sending letters or emails. And for the little tykes, the ones still needin’ their mama and papa, you gotta bring their birth papers. But not just any old papers, mind you, gotta be the new kind, not older than six months, they say. They like things new and shiny, I reckon.

• Gotta go to the police station
• Gotta show up yourself
• Bring the young’uns if you got ’em
• Birth papers gotta be new

If you already got a passport, and you ain’t lost it down the well or somethin’, and you got that fancy electronic card, the one with the picture, then it might be a bit easier. But that card can’t be older than a year, mind you. They like things up to date, these city folk.

So, what’s this passport thing anyway? Well, it’s a little book, they say, that shows who you are and that you’re one of them Croatians. If you’re livin’ far away, more than three months, you might need it more than most. Guess it’s like a driver’s license, but for the whole wide world.

Now, about the money. Nothin’s free in this world, is it? They want about 42 euros for that passport, if you ain’t in no hurry. But if you want it fast, or you want them to bring it to your door, like the milkman used to, then it’s gonna cost you a bit more, about 46 euros or so. That’s a lot of money for a little book, if you ask me.

Important thing to remember, they don’t just sell these passports like candy. You can’t just buy your way in, no sir. You gotta be born there, or your folks gotta be from there, or maybe you married someone from there. And if you ain’t none of those things, well, you gotta live there a long, long time, at least eight years, they say, before they even look at ya. It ain’t easy, like I said.

So, you wanna get that Croatian passport, you gotta be patient, and you gotta follow their rules. Go to the police, bring your papers, pay your money, and wait your turn. Ain’t no shortcut that I know of. And remember, keep your nose clean, they don’t like no troublemakers. It’s like plantin’ corn, gotta do it right and wait for it to grow.

And that’s all I know about it, so don’t come cryin’ to me if it don’t work out. I just told ya what I heard, like any good neighbor would.

Getting that passport, it’s like tryin’ to catch a greased pig. You gotta be quick, you gotta be smart, and you gotta be willin’ to get a little dirty. But if you want it bad enough, you’ll find a way. Just remember what I told ya, and maybe you’ll have a chance.

So, good luck to ya, and God bless. Hope you get that passport you’re after.