This Mozambique, I hear it’s a real place, right? Some folks need a paper, they call it a visa, to get in. Like needing a ticket to get into the fair, you know? You gotta get this paper before you go, or they won’t let you in. Ain’t that somethin’?
So, how you get one of these Mozambique visa things? Well, there’s this thing called the internet, and they say that’s where you gotta go. But don’t just go to any site. I hear there’s more of those internet places than there are chickens in a henhouse. They told me the one you want ends in “gov” or something, the official website, you know? Not just any old place. You gotta be careful with that internet, lots of tricky folks out there, you know. They say to look for a site that has “Mozambique e-Visa website” in the name, that’s how you know it’s the right one. Make sure you see “e-visa” that means electronic, that’s the internet one.
And it ain’t free, no sir. Gotta pay for it, like everything else these days. They say you gotta use money orders. Dollars! American dollars! Can you believe it? And it is not going to come back to you! They said visa fees are gone once you pay, like throwin’ money in a well! They call it “non-refundable”. Fancy word for “gone”. But after you pay for your Mozambique visa, you can go pick it up and they will give you a slip.

Now, listen up. If you go invitatin’ folks who ain’t from around there, and they’re livin’ in this Mozambique place, they need some kind of paper too. Sounds like a whole lot of paperwork if you ask me. They call it “DIRE”. Sounds important. So, if you’re thinkin’ of havin’ visitors, make sure they got their papers in order. Just like checkin’ if your chickens are vaccinated, gotta make sure everything’s right, you know?
And don’t be thinkin’ you can just waltz in there and get this visa the same day. Oh no, it takes time. They say ten days, workin’ days that is, not weekends. Ten days! That’s like two whole weeks of waitin’. But if you’re in a real big hurry, like a cat on a hot tin roof, you can pay more and get it faster. I hear it is 3-4 days. Even faster if you pay a whole heap more, you know. Only 2 days. Just depends on how much money you got, I reckon.
- First, you gotta go to that internet place, the “official” one, you know?
- Then you gotta make an account. Like signin’ up for somethin’, I reckon.
- Fill out all their forms. They want to know everything about you, I bet.
- Then you gotta pay. With them money orders.
- And then you wait. And wait. And wait some more.
If you get sick, yellow fever, you should be careful. I don’t know the details, you should ask the doctor.
There’s also somethin’ called an “e-Visa,”. It’s like a regular visa, but it’s all done on that computer thing. No paper, just a bunch of numbers and letters, I guess. They say it’s faster, but who knows. Some folks want to go for business, some folks want to go for fun. They can also get this e-visa.
They say you can get your Mozambique e-visa on the internet place called VisaHQ. Can you believe it? You don’t need to go anywhere, just use the computer.
There’s an embassy too, in a place called Washington, where you can do these visa things. I ain’t never been to Washington. Too far. But if you’re close, maybe you can go there. They probably got all the papers and stamps and such.
Seems like a lot of folks want to go to this Mozambique. They say it’s a nice place. Must be, if everyone’s willin’ to go through all this trouble to get a visa. They even make a guide to tell you which kind of visa you need! It is like which shoes you need to wear! So many! If you want to visit, if you want to study, you need to choose a different one. So complicated!
So, if you are thinking about going to Mozambique, you need to get this visa. Remember, find the right website, pay with dollars, wait for a long time. It is a long process, but I guess it is just what you have to do. They say it’s easy, but it sounds like a lot of work to me. But what do I know? I ain’t never been to Mozambique.
Well, that’s all I know about this Mozambique visa business. It’s a lot of rigmarole, if you ask me. But if you wanna go, you gotta do it. Just like plantin’ seeds, gotta follow the steps if you want somethin’ to grow. Good luck, and don’t get lost on that internet!